I’l admit it, the idea of getting my book published is terrifying to me, and I am not even sure why. My mother has read my book already and so I’m not overly concerned with what she will think. My kids are too young but i am sure one day they will read my book – that does make my skin crawl a little but hopefully they will understand that mummy is not in fact a mass murdering psycho and its all just pretend – they are pretty smart and so hopefully… As for anyone else, well, I’ve written a book, i wrote it, me , not them. Write a book and get it published then tell me whats wrong with my book – obviously i dont expect any massively hostile confrontations from people about my story, sure people will talk behind my back and realistically I am cool with that. So where does this anxiety come from? I have no idea. It took a lot of courage for me to put myself out there, and I am open to criticism for sure. So why am I nervous? I think one of the big issues for me – is people seeing what I have written and looking through it to see me, to see what makes me tick. Its stupid really because i dont do that to other writers. i am a very private person and so it makes me feel very vulnerable – I dont like feeling vulnerable.

I got an email from my agent on friday saying 2 publishing houses were taking my book to acquisitions meetings (I had to look this up) and so thats a good thing, especially as 2 people want it – thats good, right? i dont know what to think in all honesty – its so easy to put self doubt on myself, far too easy. At what point do i start believing in myself?

Until next time

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s