I started writing a long time ago, but it was a secret, it was shameful. Who the hell did i think i was?  Is this a familiar feeling? It always amazes me the people who just out there and are writers, its like how??? aren’t you afraid of judgement? criticism? aren’t you afraid people will think you are a freak? So i used to write in secret. I remember telling my friend i was writing a screenplay, it was greeted by a scoff and a silence – like she had no idea what to say to that. I still have that screenplay – and one day Ill finish it and it will be a damn film! i worked on my craft hard and long, I have been learning to write for the pleasure of other people for around 15 years. and yet its only been a year that i have had the confidence to share and show my work. Its only a recent thing where i read other peoples work and think – oh right – my stuffs better than yours – or – i wish i could write like you (without getting down on myself at the same time)

It seems everyone is a writer these days – and a lot of it is shit – Im sorry but it is – Im not Tolstoy by any stretch of the imagination and I know where i sit in the market but there is a lot of unproffessional work being pumped out thanks to the ever increasing world of free ebooks and self publishing (some of its great though!)

I used to treat writing like it was my dirty little secret. hiding my documents, keeping my stories to myself – generally acting like some kind of junkie who had to keep her habit on the down low. I have even shredded books before because i didnt want anyone to find them and know i had written them  – not because they were shit – but because i didnt want anyone to think i was that self indulgent that I had the audacity to try and write a book.

Be proud if you write – I am nearly 40 and im not embarrassed by my habit anymore, I dont think there is anything wrong with little old me trying to impart my wisdom on the world. It wont be the best thing you have ever read – but hopefully if you do ever read something i have written – some part of it will stay with you – and thats all any writer can ask for.

until next time

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